I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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