the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
