brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You have to summon your inner elephant
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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