North Korea, Best Korea!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
