oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
