I wannas sexs uuuuu
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize