Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
