What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Couch. On fire.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize