so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
