Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize