What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
