I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
