Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the raccoons are back...
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