Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
