is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
