i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
