when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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