is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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