somebody snuck up and got me drunk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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