When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Two words: blizzard sex
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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