Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize