i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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