pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
