Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
