fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
