So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
