White coat. Heels.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
