The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
