I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
