evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
