she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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