A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
