I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
