Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
