I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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