I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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