just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
