We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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