and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
