the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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