did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
