I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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