I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
