Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
