All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
