I heard we made out
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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