glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
