So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
