I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
God, I missed his penis.
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