he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
