The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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