And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
