You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You can't just leave with hair like that
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
