I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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