Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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