Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
