is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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