Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
