suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
