My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
