there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
