he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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