I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
