Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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