super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And then my night got REAL pukey
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
